ROADBLOCKS TO PEACE

[Dianne Rosena Jones]

Throughout life each of us has experienced some level of disappointment and pain at the hands of loved ones, friends, co-workers, and even complete strangers. As we mature, we realize that disappointment and pain can’t be completely eliminated, but we can control our reaction to it. Sometimes we develop what we think are protective barriers within our spirit in an attempt to minimize the chances of such painful acts occurring again. These barriers are intended to protect us, but in reality, many of them trap us. Many of our protective walls hold behind them a spirit of un-forgiveness and the root of bitterness. Emotional traps that are so dangerous they prevent us from experiencing real peace of mind. Peace is a mental/emotional state that first must be generated in our minds before it can be manifested in our lives. Things don’t produce peace nor do other people generate peace. Those additions may help us to mentally embrace peace, but they can’t create peace within us. Peace is an internal state of mind that is hindered by the slightest disruptive thought or conversation. It’s a delicate balance that can be easily thrown off by our external surroundings, but should not be controlled by our external settings. The problem is that many of us allow external circumstances, situations, and people to dictate our state of mind, therefore rob us of our peace. We are held in bondage by the emotions we harbor when we allow un-forgiveness to fester in our spirit. When left unchecked it can turn into bitterness. Bitterness is a root that overshadows everything around it, like a weed growing up among beautiful flowers. If unresolved it tends to destroy trust and prevent us from building lasting relationships. Bitterness creates a mental environment of hostility. A bitter woman is one that no one can stay around for any length of time without being affected by her negative comments and distain for those who may have hurt her. If you meet a woman who is continuously saying something negative about her ex, her baby’s father, or anyone else. She is harboring un-forgiveness. If nothing that you say or nothing that person does can change her perception or her conversation, she is cultivating a root of bitterness. Bitterness results from allowing un-forgiveness to go unresolved. Unresolved un-forgiveness leads to bitterness, and bitterness blocks all paths towards peace. Peace can only be achieved once we allow ourselves to forgive others and ourselves. Releasing un-forgiveness sets us free because we are the only ones who are bound by harboring it. Often people say we have to “make peace” with someone. It’s never the other person that we need to make peace with. It’s really an internal cleansing which releases un-forgiveness and bitterness that we merely talk out with others if we can. Whether you never have the opportunity to “make peace” with the person that hurt you or not, forgiveness is crucial, not for them, but for you. Even if they never apologize or feel any remorse for the pain they’ve caused you, forgiveness is crucial to your state of mind, not theirs. If you are not experiencing peace in your life put things on the right track by forgiving everyone who has ever hurt you [for real], including yourself. Release them from all retribution for the harm done to you, when you release them, you will really be setting yourself free.